I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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