I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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