So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
