Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
