why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
