Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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