drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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