u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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