I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
