i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
