The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
