she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
