people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
