I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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