Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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