I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
