Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
