Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
