anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
