I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
