This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
