Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
