Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
