WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
