So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
