I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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