No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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