You smell like stripper and shame
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize