I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
