it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So much rum. So many feels.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
