i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
