I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
as a side note pls kill me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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