dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
