Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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