you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
