oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
