I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
