no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize