Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
