Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want her autograph on my taint
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
