so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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