i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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