I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
