I think im going to throw up on grandma
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize