i barfeds in our rink
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
