Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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