i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
