i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
