So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
