If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
