Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
