I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A bitchslap is in order.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
