Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
