you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
