It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
