cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize