Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
