Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
