I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
