so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
